So it's been a long time since we split up. Almost 6 months, I think. And now I'm just hating what I'm feeling.
I guess I'm not the same as other girls. I didn't cry and I didn't even feel sad when the dreaded break-up thing happened. So months went on, like it was just the clouds rolling by. And now I find myself stuck in this frustrating situation.
I've been feeling a lot of emotions whenever I remember my times with him. Sometimes I'd feel happy remembering our crazy times together. Then I'd feel sad cause we aren't together anymore. And then I'd feel pathetic remembering all those serious convos with him. But what I hate the most is feeling frustrated because my mind has a mind on its own and thinks without my permission! All the regrets just keeps me frustrated. What gets me frustrated the most is the stupid fact that I haven't even trusted myself. I was so scared back then. I was scared of being hurt, I was scared of lowering my pride, I was scared to love.
Now, thinking back, he was a sweetheart and I was an idiot. And I hate myself for being that. But what I really hate the most is missing him a little bit too much right now. I know I'm not supposed to feel like this but I do. And I hope the time that I don't give a care anymore would come soon. Cause seriously, it's messing up my mind whenever I don't think of something else.
So here I am, typing recklessly, hopefully not get my keyboard destroyed, ranting all these down so that I can finally get over it.
Well now at least I've learned. And hopefully I'll be better the next time. -_-"